After a long and detailed investigation, involving agents spending
months under cover, the authorities finally moved in this morning. In a swift
action they wiped out a nefarious gambling ring. One of the criminals was
caught red handed with his greedy fingers in the biscuit tin.
Local residents
can yet again rest easy. The threat level to law-abiding citizens can be
brought down from critical to normal. Time to breathe a sigh of relief.
In a week
where the news has been dominated by the ins and outs of whistleblowing and
whether or not various countries in the west have become totalitarian states,
the news broke this morning that police in Portugal have arrested an entire pub
for gambling. Or, to be more precise, playing bingo.
Imagine the
scene. The call of “Two fat ladies!” rang out. A man shouted “Bingo!” and just
as he was getting up to pick up the box of biscuits that were to be the reward
for his long-time illegal behaviour... He was grabbed by the strong arm of the
law and hauled off to prison.
Great, you
think, crime should not pay.
Does it
matter if it’s a laughing matter, as it were?
Let me humbly
suggest that it probably does. Today’s two leading news stories seem so
disparate, and yet they were given equal weight (at least for a moment). On the
one hand the Bingo ring and on the other hand the whistleblower that uncovered several
governments’ immoral snooping into electronic messages and social media posts.
Surely, the second story is a few orders of magnitude more important? Although,
having said that, it is perhaps equally ironic. After all, do you not think it
is (just a little bit) funny that the authorities accuse this whistleblower of
spying when all he did was reveal the fact that they were doing just that?
The fact that
government agencies are keen to listen in to everyone’s skype calls etcetera
should not come as a great surprise. They are after all trying to “keep us all
safe” so surely it makes sense that they need to track what are are up to? Did
you not see the signs? Did you never wonder if that guy who wanted to be your
friend on facebook... The one you could not remember from school... Could
possible be a part of the secret service? Well, you should have!
Do I have a
problem with this underhanded Big Brother action? Of course, I do! As should
everyone else. It is illegal and reprehensible. I may not be surprised, but
that does not mean I have to like it.
Am I worried
about a knock on the door in the early morning hours, and the interrogation at
the secret headquarters that will surely follow? Surely I must have broken a
gazillion obscure laws in my life? I may even have played Bingo!
Still, I am
not too bothered. Seems a bit vain to think that even the most dedicated snoops
would care too much about my personal (hypothecated, I assure you...) crimes. Also,
being somewhat familiar with the challenges of working with big data... and the
combined email traffic of the western world amounts to an absolutely enormous
amount of data... I suspect that electronic eavesdropping on the entire
population would be an essentially wasted effort. Targeted on particular
suspicious individuals (whoever you think the “bad guys” are, I guess), it may
be effective, but trying to pick out the worst of a bad bunch when you have a
pool of many millions. Well, good luck!
Basically, I would
imagine this tired, overworked, mid-career official slaving away in a grey
cubicle equipped with a couple of flat computer screens. Trying to scan message
after message. Checking out the latest facebook status updates. Listening...
Listening... Being bored out of his wits. Thinking that he has 20 years to go
until retirement. Worrying that, by then, there won’t be a pension system
anyway. 20 more years of listening… He may be dreaming about his holiday and
perhaps wondering what happened to the glamorous James Bond existence he was
promised when he joined the service.
How efficient
do you think this man is likely to be? I have a feeling most of us can get away
with murder.
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