Thursday 19 September 2013

Finders Keepers

(If you have ever lost your glasses, then this is for you!)


Professor Kompressor was very clever, but he was not terribly organized. He had a particular knack for losing things. One moment he would know exactly where whatever it was would be. The next moment... gone. Things tended to disappear mysteriously whenever he needed them the most.
He was trying to find his glasses. 
First he looked everywhere they could possibly be, but were not.
Then he looked everywhere they could not possibly be.
They were not there either.
Trying to figure out what was going on, he took off his glasses and started polishing them with his handkerchief.
“Where could they...”
Then it struck him.
“I’m such a fool,” he groaned.
“Why is it,” he reflected as soon as he had calmed down, “that it’s so difficult to keep track of these infernal things? Even when they’re right in front of my nose.”
He was, of course, not the first person to have this problem. Glasses go missing all the time, all over the world, causing immense frustration for their owners.
Professor Kompressor decided to do something about the problem. The situation was calling for an invention, but it was not clear what this invention should be.
His first suggestion solved the problem, but was not very practical.
“I could just stop wearing glasses,” he considered. “Then I wouldn’t lose them.”
“On the other hand,” he added thoughtfully, “I wouldn’t see very clearly.”
“Could be dangerous, as I might crash into things.”
“Better think of something else.”
The second idea was more promising.
“How about making the glasses more noticeable?”
“I know! I’ll install bright flashing lights on the frames, turned on and off by a remote control.”
“Whenever I mislay the glasses, I just turn on the flashing lights and they should be easy to find.”
“Might look a bit silly, but that doesn’t matter.”
The Professor could not afford to be vain.
He went straight to the inventing studio to work on the idea of the flashy glasses.
Emerging a couple of hours later, very pleased with himself, he decided to test the new invention by mislaying the glasses. On purpose.
This turned out to be quite difficult, but eventually he managed to forget where he had put them.
“Alright, then...” he muttered to himself, “time to see if this works.”
“Only need to push the red button on the...”
“... remote control!” he gasped as he realized that he could not find it.
He looked absolutely everywhere.
As he was rummaging through a pile of letters and mixed paperwork on a shelf in the hallway, he considered that it might have been a good idea to put flashing lights on the remote control as well.
“Of course,” he figured, “then I would need another remote control and I bet I’d manage to lose that, too.”
Eventually, he found the offending item. In his left trouser pocket.
He pushed the button and, to his great relief, saw the red lights on the glasses flash from the bookshelf.
“Seems to work,” he concluded.
In the evening he sat down to watch television. It was a program about wildlife in the Arctic, or somewhere cold like that. The snow on the screen made the Professor feel chilly. He decided that a mug of tea, three lumps of sugar and a splash of milk, would be just the thing to keep him warm.
Returning from the kitchen, he sat down in his comfortable chair.
Unfortunately...  
... he managed to sit on the remote control.
The glasses started flashing.
On – off – on – off...
Stunned by surprise, the Professor had no clue that was going on. He was simply sitting there, flashing like a Professor-shaped emergency vehicle.
The only thing missing was a siren.
This mishap made him decide that the invention was not quite what he was looking for.
He went back to the drawing board.
The next day he solved the problem, once and for all.
He simply tied a string to the glasses. That way, when he was not wearing them, they dangled on his chest.
Tried and tested solutions are often the best.




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